Excerpt from my chat with the Russian girl

So I'd been in Russia for a couple of months and I could only boast of just a hand full of Russian girls. That's sooooo "gross" or lemme say a disgrace to all my "boys" who have been looking up to me πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†
This really got to me cos whereas my mates like Steve, Zaid,Mustapha etc were getting and changing girls day in day out, I was still here with my 1 "REAL" Russian girl who later on got me disappointed and discouraged when I realized she smokes. IT WAS A KILLER BLOW MEHN πŸ‘ŠπŸ‘ŠπŸ‘Š. I thought to myself "ei, so I'm gonna lose Dee?". I just had two options: to either let her go or try advising her to stop that habit. Hmmmmmmmmmmm

So, all these "motivated" me to up my game and also come out with strategies to "ron" or talk to Russian girls, get acquainted and possibly date them. OH YES, DATE THEM. I wanna get a "colour television" in my house.....ROTFL
So one day after class, I abandoned my mates with the excuse that I was feeling very cold so I needed to go to the hostel quick BUT I had my own ulterior motive or agenda. I wanted a Russian girl by hook or crook or lets say I WAS DESPERATE. The Russian girls I knew were less than 6 and it was only one I was very close with. I just wanted to add up to the number and improve my rankings in class. YES OOOOOOO, IN CLASS MEHN.
In class, when it came to Russian girls, I was way behind. As a matter of fact, I WAS LAST. At times, I'm unable to stand it when Steve will be telling me his escapades and how I'm missing and stuff like that.
So I went about passing CERTAIN PLACES in the cold [It was still snowing]. It wasn't easy for me at all BUT a determined mind never backs out. I went about from one street to another; ΡƒΠ» Π‘Π΅ΠΏΠ°Π½Π° Π Π°Π·ΠΈΠ½Π°, ΡƒΠ» ΠšΡƒΡΠΊΠΎΠ²Π°, ΡƒΠ» Московская, ΡƒΠ» Π‘ΠΎΠ»ΡŒΡˆΠ°Ρ ΠšΠ°Π·Π°Ρ‡ΡŒΡ- just looking for any Russian lady who will just be standing alone. MY VIM COME PAAAAAA.

Map showing the streets and also from my Hostel [A] to Campus[B]
Unfortunately for me or better still, lemme say the "gods were against me or I think my "house witches" didn't want me to progress in that aspect of my life [increasing the number of Russian girls will give me a higher chance or possibility of getting a Russian as a best friend and even to a higher calling of dating and marrying her ] YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN RIGHT?????πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰

Herh, I roamed and roamed and roamed. I got fed up, tired, exhausted and above all HUNGRY. I never saw a lonely girl standing or sitting. NOT EVEN A SHADOW. It was as if they've been warned or told I was around.


So I gave up [forget the phrase I made earlier about a determined mind never backing out] and set off to my hostel. I was a lil bit disappointed BUT I WAS HUNGRY THE MORE.


The blessing was what I'd been looking and searcing for: BEAUTIFUL RUSSIAN DAMSEL.....OMG, she was standing ALONE too, just in front of a WIFI GAME SHOP.
Just there and then, I LOST MY VIM AND COURAGE. OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH; it just disappeared into thin air, LIKE A VAPOUR. 
I walked majestically, passed her by a few meters then started hitting my head with my hand [I just felt that was it]. "I've been served with a great meal and i'm rejecting it "

I was already regretting....Gathered some vim by summoning the courage and bravery of Yaa Asantewaa [my inner Yaa Asantewaa was unleashed]and also the forces of my ancestors.....ROTFL.....As they entered into me, I retreated to just do justice to the girl. 


Yaa Asantewaa [c. 1840-17th October 1921] was the queen mother of Ejisu in the Ashanti Empire-now part of modern day Ghana. She was appointed by her brother Nana Akwasi Afrane Opese, the ruler of Edwesu. During her brother's reign, Yaa Asantewaa saw the Ashanti Confederacy go through a series of events that threatened it's furutre, including war from 1883 to 1888.

One of the notable events was when the British governor-general of the Gold Coast, Frederick Hogson demanded the Golden Stool [the symbol of the Asante Empire]. This request led to a secret meeting of the members of the Asante government at Kumasi. There was a disagreement among those present on how to go about it. Yaa Asantwaa who was present at this meeting, stood and addressed the members of the council with these now-famous words:
“Now I have seen that some of you fear to go forward to fight for our king. If it were the brave days of Osei Tutu, Okomfo Anokye and Opoku Ware I, chiefs would not sit down to see their king taken without firing a shot. No white man could have dared to speak to the Chief of Asante in the way the governor spoke to you chiefs this morning. Is it true that the bravery of Asante is no more? I cannot believe it. It cannot be! I must say this: if you, the men of Asante, will not go forward, then we will. I shall call upon my fellow women. We will fight the white men. We will fight till the last of us falls on the battlefield.”

This is the first and only example for a woman to be given that role in Asante history.
The Great Yaa Asantewaa
Photo Credit: Google Search


I approached and the conversation started…..YAY, “ma hitti jackpot” meaning “I just hit a jackpot” πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†

Me: ΠΏΡ€ΠΈΠ²Π΅Ρ‚ [hi]

Her: ΠΏΡ€ΠΈΠ²Π΅Ρ‚ [hi]

Me: *I pretended I understood lil Russian so I decided to kinda stutter* Π’Ρ‹……понимаСшь…….ΠΏΠΎ английски? [Do you……understand……English?]

Her: Π§ΡƒΡ‚ΡŒ Ρ‡ΡƒΡ‚ΡŒ [small small]

Me: *gave her a sad face 😟😟😟. It was all in my plan of “ronning” her* I then took out my iPhone [flexing levels…LOL] and typed “Do you know where I can do some printing” using my translator.

Her: She said “NO” pointing at where we were standing to check there.

Me: *I didn’t know what to say again* so I said “Thank You” and entered the shop knowing perfectly well they don’t render printing services. Spent some few seconds and came out to tell her “NO” and just left.

I didn’t know what to tell her again………….OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH

As I was leaving, I felt I’d not finished with the job so I returned [I believe I was surrounded by a cloud of witnesses so as I was leaving, they were cheering me up not to give up πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†....HAHAHAHAHAHA]

One of my favorite scriptures:
“Hebrews 12:1: Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us.”

I then typed on my phone “Sorry, I didn’t ask for your name, I’m Matthew”

Her: I'm 
…… *She mentioned a nice and a popular Russian name but unfortunately, I’ve forgotten 😞😞😞*

Me: “Where do you stay?”

Her: "Engels"

Me: “WOW, That’s where I go to church”

Her: "OK"

Me: *I joyfully and happily asked* “Could you give me your number?” 

At this point, i'd gotten ahead of my self THEN THE SHOCKER CAME.

Her: “I have a boyfriend”


Jeez, it was that bad mehn. I just wanted your number and the excuse or reply you had to give was that??? I was shocked to the core mehn. I just said “Thank You” and left.

I HURRIEDLY left as if I was being pursued πŸƒπŸƒπŸƒ, straight to my hostel to eat. I didn’t even think about it on my way.

WASTED TIME!!!!!!!!! 


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